My dog, Chef Boy, ate a condom from the bathroom waste basket.
Our relationship will never be the same.
Published in
Feb 27, 2024
I approach Chef Boy and say, “Hello.”
He says nothing.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He silently drops his head.
“Chef Boy, I have to tell you something.”
He looks up at me, and I kneel.
“You ate my used condom.”
He barks.
“I should’ve told you sooner.”
He barks.
“Come on, Chef Boy, don’t be like this.”
He barks.
“I’m sorry. I’ll never use contraceptives again!”
He barks.
Chef Boy walks away and rudely ends our conversation, leaving me sad and alone.
The next day, I brought him to the animal shelter. I decided I could not share a room with a dog who ate a used condom. Also, it would be nice to have sex without Chef Boy staring at me.
